A woman in her journey of life goes through various changes, playing multiple roles. But one role that deserves a mention at every opportunity, that I feel is most challenging and tough is being a MOTHER.
I lost my mom when I was just two years old. I never knew what it felt like when a mother hugged her child with love. My bua brought me up and she is the one I knew as my mother. Whatever good is instilled in me today, is because of her.
I lost my mom when I was just two years old. I never knew what it felt like when a mother hugged her child with love. My bua brought me up and she is the one I knew as my mother. Whatever good is instilled in me today, is because of her.
At the age of 10 I found out that the lady I always thought was my mother was actually not. And my actual mother wasn't alive. I was 12 years old when an unknown woman was brought into our lives as mother and we were expected to accept her, love her, respect her. God is witness, I tried more than my best. But my love was reciprocated only with hatred, harsh words, verbal and physical abuse and looks that would make me tremble with fear. Due to family pressures, I couldn't even keep in touch with my bua, my mom, could never meet her or even talk to her. At the age of 21, I saw my mother in-law and showered all my love, respect, care on her. Yet again to receive only disapproval, indifference and disrespect in return.
At the age of 22 I gave birth to this little boy who I felt was the world to me. I withdrew my love from everywhere where it wasn't welcomed and gave it to my little Som. He at the age of just 2 years knew how to handle my asthma. Wiped by tears and put me to sleep in his little lap. I never experienced mother as a child but my Som made me experience motherhood.
Over years that little boy and his love for me got lost somewhere. I have him beside me throughout but only in body. He is now a grown boy. And grown boys I understand are not required to love their mothers anymore. It would make them look like babies. Respecting their mothers is against their manliness.
9 months and 13 years of my life, the epicenter of my life remained my son, my boy. My life, my health, my career, my friends, my family, my desires, my needs.... Nothing mattered to me. All that mattered was that innocent smile on my little boy's face.
But now I guess it is time to let go. Time to set him free. Free from my love, my expectations of him, my desires from him. Yet remain available in times of his need, his pain and his strife. Guess this is why a mother is called the epitome of love and giving. So shall it be.
I am sure that my little boy will grow up to earn well and do good for him. I only wish and pray everyday that he grows into a man every woman could trust and respect. A person who accepts equality. One who sees human beings as the creations of God and not through the lens of caste, creed, gender, religion, nationality, origin, looks etc. One who understands the balance between material and relationships. I only hope and pray 🙏.
