Someone for whom human interaction and physical connect
matters a lot and contributes to keeping sane and happy; this lock down is a
very tough time. Holding the hand of your beloved, a silent and warm long
hug, a peck on the cheeks, or a passionate romantic kiss, the healing powers of
a loving human touch is beyond description.
As much as you require, as tough as it may seem, staying
away from those you love, is the true test of your love during these times.
Being at the receiving end of this myself, I am here to share some ways in
which we can see this through.
Trust - being the foundation of all relationships, is that
for this test too. Keep your trust in your relationship and your beloved strong
and let it flourish during this distance. Know that they have always loved you,
and will continue to, that no one can replace you for each other, and that they
will take care of themselves for you.
Communication - though always one of the most critical
aspects, it is much more important during these times. But, I am not talking
about long chats, keeping each other informed, video chats etc. here. Do that
if you can for sure. But the communication I am talking about is more skin deep.
The ability to listen to the silence and to know what exactly the no response
to a certain message may mean. The ability to crisply communicate during that
2-minute phone call that you so much yearned for. The ability to wait for a
response for days, not with anxiety but with patience trust and positive
thoughts. That type of communication is the need of the hour or months if I may say.
Consideration – when we are in pain, the human tendency is to
think of, feel about and understand only our pain. It makes us blind to the
pain that others go through. Remember this separation, this distance, this
longing, is not yours alone, it is for both involved, equally. Be considerate
towards this fact and do not make it all about your pain alone.
Gratitude – tough times are the best times to reflect upon
the good times. Remind yourself about the lovely times of togetherness, think
of those times so deeply and intently, that you should actually be able to feel
the warmth. Write down the things that you are grateful for. Having someone you
can miss; in itself is something to be grateful for. Many people do not even
have this.
Positivity – The energy, with which we think of others, is
the same energy we send to them. It is natural to get all negative thoughts
when you are away and unable to get in touch, yet would you want to send
negativity to your loved ones, especially when you know you can send positivity.
So be mindful of your thoughts.
Acceptance – do not keep questioning the reality. Acceptance
is the first step to happiness. Accept this distance and let it sink in.
Acceptance does not mean you need to put a fake brave face and suppress your
emotion. Acceptance means to acknowledge your emotion, cry if you need to, know
what is making you cry, or feel anxious or negative, fix the root cause and
then move ahead to managing that emotion.
Cope – Find your own coping mechanisms. Do not let the brain
trick you and rule you; tame it and train it. Do things that keep you virtually
connected to your loved ones. Listening to their favorite music, or watching that
movie you both so laughed together at, browsing through your vacation memories –
photos, or anything else you hold dear, wearing their clothes to feel their
smell, making a memory journal or photo book… option are many. Instead of
sitting and shedding those precious tears, get to work.
I know, this is not an exhaustive list of what you can and
cannot do. I also know that this wouldn’t change your life, and make all your worries and anxieties
vanish the moment you finish reading it. Yet, I know for sure that it will put things in perspective
and give you an opportunity to adjust and re-adjust to your situation and your
emotions during these times.
Love cannot be locked down. Just like flowing
water, when hits an obstruction, doesn’t stop, but finds its way around it,
Love too will flourish if you let it find another way.
Love and Light
Liberating Ariana
