The Circle of Impact

It was the worst day of my life, I felt I had nothing left to live for. I felt everyone was here to only harm me and hurt me, no one wanted to see me happy. I felt my life had shattered. I was just 10. My favourite toy had been accidentally broken by my cousin.

They all conspired against me. I felt betrayed and cheated. I so wanted to wear my brand new white dress and they decided to keep blue as the colour theme. It was the last day of my school, I was just 16. 

Through many years even after that, these feelings of betrayal, others hurting me, conspiring against me and other similar ones, kept creeping into my head. Someone didn’t like my new haircut and I didn’t step out of the house till they grew back. I was fat shamed on social media and I didn’t eat for days. A friend commented on my communication skills and I couldn’t speak publicly for years, my confidence was broken. My boss’s opinion of me decided how talented and skilled I felt. What my neighbors thought of me, became the reality of my character. And the list goes on and on... 

Till one day, I felt like a puppet. A puppet whose remote control, was as if distributed to every random person on the road. Whose emotions, behaviours, actions, thoughts and worth, completely depended on how they used the remote control. It was as if I was shaken up from a deep slumber. I no longer wanted to be a controlled puppet. I did not want to be a hostage of other’s opinion of me. I wanted to break free. 

I realised that somehow I ended up letting people control me. I allowed other’s opinions to impact me. Every insignificant opinion began to dictate my reality. And then I began working on my ‘impact circle’. I carefully chose who would be inside my circle of impact and who would be outside. Who are these people who I trust completely and undoubtedly. Those I am sure will accept me as I am and will be non-judgemental honest critics of my shortcomings.

Over the years, this circle kept shrinking, till I got to just 2 people in my life, that I decided to allow to remain inside my circle of impact. Make no mistake...those I carefully opted to keep outside the circle, don’t stand to be insignificant in my life. They consist of my closest friends, my family members too and even some colleagues that I dearly love, care about and feel connected to. Yet, for the peace of my own soul, I chose to not allow them inside my Circle of Impact. It purely and simply means - while I will love them, care for them and stay compassionately available, anything that they do or don’t do, will not have a major impact on my being. It is, in my mind, the lowest form of detached attachment. 

Keeping my Circle of Impact small and intact, has given me the freedom nothing else could. It has brought the much needed peace and contentment to my soul. I am blessed to reach this state of calm. 
How BIG or Small is YOUR Circle Of Impact? 

The Voice

In the busy rigmarole of life, I get to hear so many different types of noises and voices.  The ting, ding, ping of the electronic devices, the woofs and bow bows that start my days. Those door bells, clanking of the utensils, the gushing sound of the tap water. The opening and closing of doors and the elevator message pleading to close its gates. I brave my way even through the honking and vrooming of the vehicles passing by, to get to yet another land of various sounds. People chatting, laughing or walking past. Keyboards typing, conference calls ringing, auto voice messages and more. I manoeuver my way through this all day long and passing again thousands of sounds, many of which are even deafening, I finally get back to decibels a notch lower. 

To the distinct noises of the idiot box, and the playful runs of the four legged angels. Slowly the noises of the world begin to dim and the tick-tock of the clock becomes more audible. 

Ironic as it may appear, only when I hear nothing else, is when I am truly listening. Listening to the most important person. To the deepest of wisdom there can be. To the answers to questions I was seeking all day. To the solutions to issues I have been dying to resolve. To the creative streak of looking beyond what’s visible, and accepting what is, as is. 

It is this when I can hear my breath, the one, that just by passing through me, bestows me with the gift of life, every single time. 

It is this when I can hear my heart beating, not just in my chest but also on my wrist and the temples. The heart that pumps the fluid of life through every inch of my body. 

It is this when I can listen to those subtle voices in my head, that have been shushed all day. The voices that bring the highest of intelligence and deepest of wisdom to my thoughts. 

It is, in these 15 minutes of silence,  when I am truly living my life. My 15 minutes with my favourite person - myself. 

The Voice

In the busy rigmarole of life, I get to hear so many different types of noises and voices.  The ting, ding, ping of the electronic devices, the woofs and bow bows that start my days. Those door bells, clanking of the utensils, the gushing sound of the tap water. The opening and closing of doors and the elevator message pleading to close its gates. I brave my way even through the honking and vrooming of the vehicles passing by, to get to yet another land of various sounds. People chatting, laughing or walking past. Keyboards typing, conference calls ringing, auto voice messages and more. I manoeuver my way through this all day long and passing again thousands of sounds, many of which are even deafening, I finally get back to decibels a notch lower. 

To the distinct noises of the idiot box, and the playful runs of the four legged angels. Slowly the noises of the world begin to dim and the tick-tock of the clock becomes more audible. 

Ironic as it may appear, only when I hear nothing else, is when I am truly listening. Listening to the most important person. To the deepest of wisdom there can be. To the answers to questions I was seeking all day. To the solutions to issues I have been dying to resolve. To the creative streak of looking beyond what’s visible, and accepting what is, as is. 

It is this when I can hear my breath, the one, that just by passing through me, bestows me with the gift of life, every single time. 

It is this when I can hear my heart beating, not just in my chest but also on my wrist and the temples. The heart that pumps the fluid of life through every inch of my body. 

It is this when I can listen to those subtle voices in my head, that have been shushed all day. The voices that bring the highest of intelligence and deepest of wisdom to my thoughts. 

It is, in these 15 minutes of silence,  when I am truly living my life. My 15 minutes with my favourite person - myself.