How much is too much???

In the small lives of BIG people and the big lives of small people, one thing that is common is lack of balance. 

Sometimes it is Balance between personal and professional life and sometimes that between give and receive. At other times it is between love and hatred and even between respect and disrespect. 

As a person who loves so much to GIVE, I often fall into the trap of this BIG question.... HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH???

How should a parent decide if their love for their child is crossing the bounds and can be taken for granted? 
How should a beloved judge the amount of time and attention to be given to the loved one before being treated as a doormat? 
How should someone decide if he/she should really love someone or hate someone before being tagged as indecisive?
How should someone decide if a person should be respected or disrespected for his/her deeds and behaviors?

A phrase often heard is 'Too much of anything is not good'.... but again... HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH???

Through the various experiences and encounters with people of different mentality, behavioral pattern, preferences, varied goals and mindsets, I have come to learn that there is no rule book that can define the border line to strike a balance. 

There are multiple theories on handling such situations, managing conflicts etc. But in reality, not all of them may work all the time with all the people. It is the mere judgement and quick thinking capability of oneself to handle such situations and be able to strike a balance. 

The biggest key however is to set priorities right. 
Recently, while speaking to a dear friend I was surprised and taken aback to see the kind of stress she was taking to keep some friends happy (if i may say so). I am not even sure if the attention she was giving to them was valued so much and even cared for. Did someone really think of the little things she was doing and the pain she was taking to just satisfy some silly egos and keep peace? Surely not!!!
As we discussed the solution to the situation,  it was evident that the only way out to clarity was SETTING PRIORITIES... and mind it, these priorities may keep changing from time to time. 

Hence to sum it, I feel there are three steps to bring balance in life:

Set Priorities Right 
Communicate Expectations 
Commit to follow and keep the commitment

This has helped me immensely in balancing between work, life, family, friends, and Myself.

YES SHE WAS A WOMAN

She gave you her blood and flesh, as a MOTHER, taught you to walk and talk,

She groomed you, as a TEACHER, taught you ‘life’ with a piece of chalk,

She hid your mistakes, as a SISTER, became a confidant,

She kept you on your toe, as a FRIEND, made you an aspirant

She made every stressful day nice, as a COLLEAGUE, made the monotony colorful

She brought sunshine in strife, as a COMPANION, made life beautiful and joyful

She stood by you in thick & thin, as a WIFE, taught you love & compassion at a glance

She became the reason you smile, as a DAUGHTER, inspired you to give happiness a second chance

YES SHE WAS A WOMAN!!!

Whose Life is it???

It was when I watched the superhit movie 'Baghbaan',that I came across a unique thought. It is also something I observed is prevalent in today's world.

While the movie very beautifully brings out the emotions, the pain and the suffering of an old couple betrayed by their own children, I want to throw light on the ther side of the story.

It's not about the movie 'Baghbaan' but there are stories around us, in the real world, where the younger generations suffers.

Most of the time parents bring up their children with an expectation to get financial and emotional support from them when they grow up.

While it's fair to expect support from your own children, how many parents really understand what their child's needs, dreams and desires are and support them?

They tend to force their children to live dreams they couldn't fulfil in ther lifetime. Then what happens to the dreams of these children? They further dump their dreams on their children and this chain continues.

It is carried down from one generation to the next one and everyone suffers in the process.

When a child is born, parents celebrate and welcome him to the new world. As the child grows, everything he does is an adventure for the parents, every word is a blessing and every move a lifetime moment for them.

It goes to an extent where parents keep the child's articles and things as if it was a treasure. They would never discard even the dirtiest and worst looking toy without asking the child, fearing it might hurt the child.

But as the child grows, his dreams seem meaningless to them, his words carry no weightage and his desires are mere waste of time.

The child has to either live his parent's dream sacrificing his own, or live his dreams sacrificing his parent's happiness.

Be it the smallest choice of which subject to choose, which college to go, which job to join, or as big as whom to choose as life partner.... every child goes through this tough choice in every way.

Some give up their dreams and silently live to see their parents happy. Some choose to live their own dreams and leave their parents behind in the process. Some unable to take the pressure of such choices take drastic steps and give up their hope on life.

Why is it that every child has to go through this tough choice?
Why can't parents allow the child to live his dreams without sacrificing their happiness?
Why can't there be a balance between these two?

I have been searching for an answer to this question... and after so many years of learning, observing and bringing up a child single handedly, I guess I do have some answers now. Will detail them in the next blog on this topic.

Peace - a short poem

Born from the mother Earth,

In her lap we shall rest

Then why these fights and terrors

What happened to our Peace Quest?

Candle light vigils and peace marches we attend

Do we genuinely mean them or are they the latest trend?

Pointing fingers and finding faults is called a courage flood now,

What happens to this courage when we ignore the accident site letting the blood flow?

Changing the world is not a one man's job we all got to stand

But before that be truthful to self, and let's not pretend.

Be the one who rises himself and lifts souls in pain too

Be the one who walks for Peace in Sun, dust and Rain too.